Saturday, April 25, 2009

earth day run 5k

i quit.

on tuesday when i found out i would, in fact, be in south carolina on saturday, i signed up for a local 5k. i could've signed up for the half, but for once i had a voice of reason and only committed myself to the 5k. i haven't ran 13 miles since the goofy challenge in january, and i know i am too competitive with myself to accept what would have definitely been a slower time. (not to mention a much hillier course).

so there i was this morning, ready to run a 5k, but still nervous as anything of course. let's come right out with it. i sucked. i did terrible. sure i pr'd, but it wasn't good enough. it was about 20 seconds faster than my previous pr, which was from when i was not running as much (~20-30 mpw then vs ~40-50 mpw now) and not doing speed work. so, i just really expected a lot more out of myself.

i could come up with plenty of excuses/explanations for sucking, but it doesn't make me content with my performance...
  • i ate a "grilled chicken salad" for dinner last night from the grocery store (aka 4 nibbles of chicken)
  • it was 80+ degrees
  • i haven't ran a hill since moving to kentucky
  • maybe doing 300 pushups this week (my arms and core have been feeling it) wasn't the brightest idea
  • maybe i'm tired from workouts earlier this week?
  • my sixth toe was extra weight
  • the 90 cookies i ate this week may or may not have had some sort of negative effect
anyway. i know i pretty much hate 5k's. they're just too short, and feel like death. somehow i can handle a 7:11 pace for 13.1 miles no problem, but i would rather die than hold a sub-7:00 pace for 3.1 miles. i hate 'em, but signed up for one anyway. figured i might as well see what kind of shape i'm in, and i haven't had a chance to race since disney so i was itching to go.

uggh i feel so pathetic. now that i'm thinking about it, i hated myself after the last 5k i ran. maybe i should just never run one again...
mile 0.0 - (downhill/flat) oh this isn't so bad. glance at pace - 6:15. let's pull back. this feels pretty good. pace - 6:45, that's not too bad, oh here's that high school girl who was trying to show-off before the start, adios amiga. pace - 6:37, man i can't believe this feels ok.
mile 0.4 - holy crap a hill? this badboy is steep. i don't know if i remember how to run these. nope definitely don't. pace - 8:00, wtf! ok just push it up the hill but don't waste all your energy. why are you passing people? conserve! pace - still sucks. yeah your pace sucks but conserve! ok crested the hill, pace back around 6:40s, not too bad, that hill sucked though. wonder how it'll feel in a few minutes...
mile 1.00 - dude calling out splits knows my name (i'm so famous), not sure how though. 6:46, not too bad considering the beastly hill. ok this is starting to not feel good anymore. did i go out too fast? should i have eaten a real dinner last night? i was just too lazy to stop for food. maybe i should quit eating every sugary substance in sight 24/7... now there's a concept.
mile 1.30 - why did i think this was a flat 5k? what was i thinking. oh look, another hill. good thing i have been training along the flatness of the ohio river and holiday inn express treadmill. yeah that's probably really paying off. why did i sign up for this? less than two miles to go, i think i can make it.
mile 2.00 - still running uphill, this one is freaking long, but at least it's less steep. pace - barely in the 6:50s. no one is calling splits but the watch says 6:58. terrible just terrible. oooh a water stop (it was more for the half-marathoners at their mile 12) i could totally go for a cup of water maybe i'll stop. it's freakin hot out. i want to walk. this hurts. what's the fun in running hard. it hurts.
mile 2.50 - oh finally i think the hill is almost over. i want to walk. i should just drop out of the race. no, that's pathetic, it's only 3.1 miles you loser. once you get to the top of this hill it's flat to the finish. i don't care i just want to quit. my lungs hurt. my legs hurt. it's hot. i should've stopped for water. who's passing me? oh good, some dude. i'm ok with that. don't slow down, push it and keep up with him. use him as a rabbit. oh forget it dude, run on, i just want to drop out. maybe i drained myself on that first hill...
mile 2.80 - "oh is that the first female?" you spectators sound so confident in identifying my sexuality. thanks for the ego boost. if i can ever get rid of my buddha belly i'll run in a sports bra to make it easier for you. no point in looking at my pace, it sucks.
mile 3.00 - uggh i can't believe i have to go all the way up to that light and then turn for the finish. this sucks. i can't even pick it up for a finishing kick. my legs are tired.
mile 3.04 - oh sweet, i don't have to run all the way to that light. just turn and home stretch. come on fatty pick up the freakin' pace you are almost done.
mile 3.10 - i am never doing this again.
mile 3.11 - holy crap what did i do to my lower back?
brian, you win. whatever. i don't think i'll ever improve on my 5k like i want to.

splits:
[mile - pace, avg hr]
mile 1 - 6:46, 180
mile 2 - 6:58, 195
mile 3 - 6:51, 199
mile 3.1 - 0:30, 199

clock time - 0:21:07
overall - 13/358
gender - 1/200

my hr data looks normal for a 5k effort - almost maxed out, so maybe i did give it a good try. i didn't have anything for a kick. i don't know if that's from being tired/lazy or from leaving it all on the course. i'm leaning more towards not-giving-it-my-all at the end. i know i ran hard because i lost muscle control in the last mile, but still it's "not good enough" for me. (yeah i know, i have this issue with being too hard on myself, blah blah blah.)

i'm thinking that part of my problem is my super craptacular nutrition lately. today's "race" gave me the kick in the rear that i needed to get back on track. just because i run 40+ mpw does not mean i can eat 4, delicious, chocolate chip cookies every night. i hate counting calories but it worked for me in my training for disney and kept me honest about eating a variety of foods, so it looks like i'm going to have to start doing that again.

sorry for my excessive whining. winning a race is awesome, i just know that it wasn't a great effort on my part - i lucked out on the slower-than-normal field of competition. i'm hard on myself and disappointed that i didn't do a lot better. i really expected more from myself. i can't even get myself too excited about first-overall because when is the first-place female slower than 20-minutes?

anyway. this race quite possibly had the most awesome prize for overall winners - a free pair of brooks shoes! i just have to go by the local store and pick 'em out. i also scored two pairs of adidas running socks just by asking the guy at the award table. (then found out they were part of the raffle prizes, whoops, oh well). of course i have no photo proof of my "win" because as usual, i went to a race alone since i have no friends. (does anyone else ever go to a race where they don't know anyone? i seem to do this 99% of the time. including driving to south bend, indiana alone to run a marathon alone. who does that?)

i guess i'll have to keep running at least recreationally to enjoy my new socks and shoes.

15 comments:

  1. Let me see if I understand. You got a PR. You WON. And you scored a pair of new kicks.

    Tell me again why you are upset? You kicked ass! Enjoy it. Oh, and the next time I do a relay, I want you on my team!

    Lastly, I NEVER know anyone when I go to a race. Except, of course, when the wifey runs.

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  2. Looks like you kicked some but to me...but I know that when it is not what you were hoping for it doesn't matter what it looks like to everyone else. Just know we out here in blogger world are proud.

    If it makes you feel any better, I haven't even dared to try a 5k b/c I'm sure my splits will be slower than my 1/2 marathon splits.

    Oh and cookies, i believe, always have a positive affect :)

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  3. Linds - take this in the spirit it's intended: shut the hell up.

    5K's are supposed to be hard. If you're running it right, it's supposed to question everything about yourself including why you decide to run in the first place.

    And speaking of first place - c'mon! You friggin' won! AND, a new pair of Brooks to boot.

    Hell, if that's what it takes to win, I'm eating a tiny grilled chicken salad w/ cookies before every race.

    Oh, and congrats whiny whiner. Sorry your diamond tiara's too heavy. And your purse is too small for your $100's. ;)

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  4. Your way too hard on yourself girl! Relish the win!

    I go to races alone most of the time too. None of my friends and family run so it's just me. Like today, I went alone.

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  5. Congrats on your PR and winning, wow. If we could all be so lucky. In your eyes, you maybe sucked, but as Carlee said, we're proud of you, and maybe you'll look back on this in a few days too and be proud of yourself.

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  6. Girl, I can only dream of being as crappy a runner as you are haha. Congrats on your win and PR!!

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  7. For someone who got a PR and WON her race, you sure sound pretty down on your performance. Really? Seriously? Lindsay, you were so great out there...pulling out sub 7 min miles for 5K and WINNING THE RACE!

    But...I can relate a bit. Just like everyone who thinks my 3:02 in Boston is so awesome (first place in my running club), I am not so happy about it.

    Still, you should really appreciate the talent and the effort that you displayed out there because one day, you will no longer be able to run similar paces no matter how hard you try.

    So, congrats...I hope you can find it in yourself to cut a little slack and enjoy your victory!

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  8. Ok, I see you hate 5Ks and are disappointed in your performance. BUT after looking at your times, HELLO!, you were SUPER consistent during that race. Not many people can do that! I sure as hell can't!

    I understand feeling disappointed...in my last race, I felt like I should've been in the the 19s if I was going to win.

    HOWEVER, I think you did an amazing job pacing yourself, even with hills to throw you off. Plus you PR'd when you're not even training for a 5K.

    I'm proud of you!!!

    (And I've gone to races by myself. It's always fine until the end, then its like, uhhh, I have no one to talk to...?)

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  9. You did awesome. Don't be so down!

    I go to races alone if my husband doesn't want to come watch me. It is quite bizarre. I feel dorky not having someone to talk to before the race and after. Man, you really got me thinking...

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  10. OMG, I nearly spit out my coffee while reading your race report! I honestly feel like telling you to stop whining and shut the hell up! BUT, I don't know you that well, so I won't! Ummm, I keep reading your blog over and over again, and don't know what's so bad about a PR, winning, and a new pair of shoes. Next time I run a 5K I hope I "underachieve" as badly as you do. Thanks for a different viewpoint about running. No offense, but I'm glad I don't take it as seriously as you do. Life's short, girl. Enjoy the ride (run) as long as possible. TRY to have some fun, will you?! :-) By the way, we're still on for Boston if I haven't ticked you off!

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  11. The Tufts 10K which is one of my favorite races - i always end up doing it alone because it's held on Columbus Day in Boston and not too many people get it off. So I know how you feel.

    I can honestly say I have never, and never will, know the feeling of being the winner of a race. So just let me live vicariously through you for that, ok?

    I don't think you were whiny - you expect a lot out of yourself. That's not a bad thing. But you have to be happy when you do set records for yourself. I'm proud of you, for what it's worth.

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  12. If I were near you, I'd KICK YOUR @$$.

    Stop being so hard on yourself!

    Sounds like you gutted your way through every step of that race. And to take FIRST!

    Congrats on a job very well done :)

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  13. Well, I wont have to slap you for the negativity b/c I accidentally read the first couple lines of your latest post before realizing I had missed this one.

    Anyway, congrats on the PR and WINNING THE RACE even if it wasn't quite what you had hoped for/expected. You're allowed to be a little disappointed in yourself, but the key is learning something from it (which you did).

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  14. Man, are you hard on yourself! You kicked serious ass, girl! You should be proud of yourself.

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  15. We are our own worst critics. I PR'd by over 2 minutes on Sunday and I keep beating myself up about not having the tenacity to gut it out like I would have hoped in the last couple of miles. If we didn't have things we wanted to keep working on we probably wouldn't keep running though, eh?

    Regardless...congratulations on coming in first! And for taking 20 seconds off a 5K!!!

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