Thursday, August 6, 2009

when you're running down the road...

...and you can't control your load; diarrhea. diarrhea.

you see, i recently started a new round of stronger antibiotics for the lump in my mouth (that the root canal should solve, should i ever actually get to have it) and one of the side effects is...(drumroll)...diarrhea.

for the record, should you ever be prescribed clindamycin - strongly urge your doctor into a different antibiotic. perhaps one a little easier on the intestines.

ok, so i don't actually have diarrhea (thank god; knock on wood), but i have pooped 8 times in two days. i'm pretty sure that's not normal. my diet has remained the same, and since the antibiotics reference an increased frequency in bowel movements i'm blaming it on them.

i was supposed to run 14 miles today with 10 at threshold pace. as always, i was a little psyched out by the workout, especially since they haven't gone over too well in the past and i've been lacking motivation lately. the added #2 dilemma wasn't helping much either. i ran on the treadmill yesterday "just in case" an incident occurred (one did). i should have known better today than to head out on a 14 mile run with a bathroom located at mile 0 and 14 (it's an out and back).

pre-run movement, check. i thought i'd be good to go. i went out for my run and around mile 1.5 my stomach begins to rumble again. not good. luckily there's sort of a spot off the road just before mile 2 where you can at least be hidden from any traffic. i took advantage of that as it's the only opportunity to pop a squat in privacy. the road is otherwise wide open with the occasional tree. thankfully, there isn't too much traffic.
when you're miles from anywhere
and your butt just doesn't care;
diarrhea. diarrhea.
what do you know, at mile 3.5 my little friend returns. i decided i was not going to risk crapping my pants 12 times on a 14 mile run and turned around at mile 4. i figured i'd at least get in some threshold miles and told myself it's probably for the best to not go for the full monty since i'm obviously having issues with the medicine.

yeah... i had to stop a few times in miles 5 and 6 because i couldn't run fast/at my threshold pace and squeeze my cheeks at the same time. the "secluded spot" would be waiting for me at about mile 6.1; it was my only goal. i reached mile 6 and had to stop immediately to attempt a clench. (thank goodness this road has no traffic - c'mon you have to know what it's like to 'stand' there and try to use your entire body to keep your cheeks together. quite difficult.) i began walking to the spot, hoping and praying i'd make it.
when you start to beg and pray
and your butt begins to spray;
diarrhea. diarrhea.
i did not. at mile 6.02 i knew it was either crap my pants or drop trou on the side of the road. i went with the latter. i still had a 45+ minute drive ahead of me as i ran near work and not the hotel. again, thank god there is verrrry little traffic on this road! i never thought i'd be squatting on the side of the road, but now i can (proudly?) say i have. quite an experience; you should look into it.

you know you are a real runner when you don't mind hearing about other's emergency pit stops.

other than all the crap, the run went pretty well! i did 2.3 miles easy to warm up, 6 miles at threshold pace and .3 miles to cooldown. (0.3 miles from the car to the start of the road.)

the threshold miles went down like this:
6:38 - my butt-clenching must have prevented me from feeling the legs burning
7:12 - legs started to feel tired, could have been the incline or the fact that i ran the previous two miles too fast

since the road is marked every 1/2 mile i left the ol' nike+ at home. i've had a feeling it was wrong anyway on all my threshold days, and i've been in a slump over not hitting my paces and feeling so tired mid-run. so suck it nike+, i was right - you really are 'off'. the miles did not feel nearly as hard today and i am now more confident in my abilities to hit my threshold pace.

in nike+'s defense, as it has served me decently for the past year, it works fine for a "regular" run. it is calibrated to my easy pace/stride and those runs always match up when i double check the mileage on mapmyrun. it's downfall comes in when you speed up or slow down. i have assumed this for awhile because whenever i've worn it in a race or in a track workout it is never even close to the race distance. for example, it told me i ran ~12 miles at the disney half marathon. i'm pretty sure those officials had it measured out accurately. anyway, my nike+ went on the fritz about two months ago, and after today's run i am sold on purchasing a garmin. well, i would kind of like to try one first but i don't know anyone here who has one that i could borrow for a run. actually, i don't even ever see people out running period.


  1. sorry about the shitty side-effects... lol. sorry, had to. Seriously though, hope it doesn't last, but awesome that you still managed your run. Btw , nike+ is always off for me too. i like it for the challenges, graphing, 'fun stuff', but use the Garmin to measure pace/distance. Feel better!

  2. girl, you are a trooper! I think you should count each poop break as an extra mile.

  3. I had no idea the diarrhea song had a whole blog!

    Okay, that sounds like a terrible run... but at least you made it through a pretty good portion of the run and turned in some good times.

    And yeah, the line about being a real runner and checking out someone else's pit stops... so true. I think we all know and understand the issues that sometimes occur!

  4. I'll spare you the puns, but man oh did you...where did you...what did you...

    Ugh, just brutal.

  5. Glad you are getting your confidence back, those are great splits! Sorry about the pooping prob!Great post, though!

  6. ROFLMAO! So sorry about the GI troubles, but damn that post is hilarious :D

    You must've really engaged your glutes though - 6:38?!?!

  7. Poor girl!! You're a trooper!!

    I went from a Nike+ to the Garmin 305 and love it. I still don't know how to work all the great things it does, since I just use it for pace, distance, etc. But, it's definitely the best thing I've ever used! Blows the Nike+ out of the water!

  8. For having so many "issues" you sure are a speedy runner! Get it girl! So sorry you had to drop trou on the side of the road... or maybe that just makes you more hardcore? LOL!

  9. 1. Buying a Garmin WILL change your life :) Invest, my friend.

    2. HAHA, poop breaks are the best- and they happen more often to other runners than you think. Also I highly recommend NOT eating an apple before a run, from personal experience.

  10. You poor thing! I've never had to take a poop break before. Sure have thought I was going to and would have done it in a heart beat.

    You are so dedicated to go out with your stomach having issues!

    You make me laugh. I'm not laughing at you, but just your experience and being on the verge of your experience a time or two myself.

  11. poor thing! but your song cracked me up!

  12. I literally just laughed out loud - NOT at your suffering (been there), but at that song! Tooo funny!

    I totally know that clenching-cheeks feeling allll too well.

    Got to love runners.

    Hope you don't have to stay on those meds too much longer.

    I can't believe you still don't have a Garmin. You gotta get one!

  13. LMAO! No really. Too freakin' funny. Way to GO there. I mean way to jump that line and just call it out for what it is. I am the queen of the P.C.'s (poopy cramps) during my long runs (no pun intended). Hope you feel better soon. I usually take an immodium before my long run.

  14. THanks for speaking out!!!! I had this problem last week at a race...and various other problems that just killed my confidence but we all make it through. Thanks for the laugh.

    YES, by the way, I DID buy the second pair of shoes...guess we both have sassy style!

  15. LOL :) Sorry to hear about the diarrhea!

  16. Ha! This is too funny and I have totally been there. You poor thing!

  17. I am familiar with the effects of clyndamicin. I lost 2 lbs in one week when on it. Man, you need to get that tooth taken care off, what are these doctors doing, don't they know you have a marathon to run????
    So, seriously, how did you manage to run those super speedy miles while struggling with the D? If that's what it takes to get that speedy, give me some Clyndamicin:) Ana-Maria

  18. No problem :)
    I actually only have a 305, so I'm not sure of the differences between the 405 and 405cx....

  19. You know you're a real distance runner when you have to drop trow and let one fly on a long run - it's happened to me as well. Embarassing but oh so relieving.

    Considering all the running you do, you most definitely should join the church of Garmin. You will love it. I got mine 6 months ago and regularly run at the 105 degree park instead of the 72 degree indoor track because I know Garmin will only work outdoors and I need to crosspost my runs to facebook so my sane friends can laugh at me. I got the 405 but the 305 seems just as good and cheaper.

  20. i know i shoudln't laugh at another gal's diarrhea, but the butt clenching brought back memories of my own mishaps. thank goodness there wasn't an accident! yay for strong glutes! ;-)

  21. hahaha oh my goodness, that song absolutely cracked me up! i can totally relate to your "crappy" experience...seriously, there need to be more public bathrooms in this world! and it always sucks having a run get messed up because of something totally out of your control!

    but what an awesome workout anyway - 6:38 mile in the middle of the workout? speedy! maybe i should look into your cheek-clenching to ignore the leg pain method :P

  22. I'm not laughing *at* you--I'm laughing *with* you--right? Great story-telling, Lindsay; I hope your problem is, um, behind you soon.

    Here's a recommendation for the 205. It's my best training partner--sorry I can't give it to you as a loaner . . .

  23. Aww, you poor thing! Make sure you keep hydrated. I hear Pedialite works wonders.

  24. You performed above and beyond the call of duty and ran awesome splits! On longer runs, I always pack like I'm going out of town, gel packs, water, cell phone, and ah...yes toilet paper. It beats leaves or grass.

  25. Wow. Lol! I love how open you are about the whole thing! Even though I got a kick out of reading about it, I sure hope that these side effects go away. Way to hold your threshold pace :)

  26. Isn't it great that we're all comfortable enough to share our shitty run stories?! Hope you feel better soon! Hey, at least your crappy runs are as good as my good runs...:-)

  27. Can I squeeze your cheeks please? Umm, your face cheeks lady - I am not that kind of gal!!!

    Funny but shitty post here. You are truly a runner that does squats!!!

    Hope your feeling better today girlie!!

  28. oh..... crap! You poor girl - I admire your sticking with it! wow...

  29. That sounds like a heavy run. It's awful to be forced to divide your attention between multiple things. If bowel movement is one of them, ... That's bad. Great job on pulling through. I probably would have returned after the first 2 pit stops.

    I have the same experience with Nike+ as you have. It's great when you do 1 pace, but cannot be "trusted" when you speed up or slow down. For this reason I bought a Garmin and i cannot imagine running without it anymore.

    You should definitely try it.

    Have a great weekend!

  30. I don't think I was prepared to read this.

  31. Thanks for putting the diarrhea song in my head...hope you're tummy is better by now:)

  32. Sorry about your diarrea troubles. You still ran really far though. I'm totally impressed...I would have headed back as soon as I thought I was gonna have thunder down under.

  33. Wow, quite a post this is, Lindsay! I'm almost embarrassed to be reading it! Maybe I'm not a real runner. :)

    Anyway, I do feel for you. I had one of those recently, though not NEARLY as bad. And it was awful! Nice job having the guts to post all about it.

  34. Well that's all a bit crappy!

    Garmin 305 $130 @ BestBuy, get em while they're hot!

  35. Oh my god, I haven't heard that song in such a long time, does it sound bad to say that as I was reading your post, I was literally laughing out loud?! Honey, I am so sorry that you are going through all that crap, literally. At least when you stop the medicine, it will stop too hopefully.

    And I recently had to cop a squat somewhat close to a (somewhat) busy road, so I khow how you feel, but luckily for me, it was #1, and not #2. If it makes you feel better, my brother had to do that on a 50 mile trail race. Bill said to him, "please tell me that's dirt on your shorts" to which my brother just laughed and then said "um, it's not!"


  36. O are much braver than I as I can't say I've ever dropped trou in least not for #2 anyway. Hope your tummy feels better by now.

    Good choice in ditching the's good for running a steady pace, but can't compensate for running faster or slower. Garmin rules...get with the program.

  37. Oh you poor thing! I totally feel for you. I had a similar experience (without the antibiotic excuse) a few weeks ago. I ended up going behind a bush in a park (that'll teach 'em to keep the restrooms locked until 8 a.m.). But I was pretty sure a homeless person had been there before me. D'oh!

    And I just have to say that Terri's story of her brother made me LOL. And we get to meet him in a few months!

    Hope you feel better!

  38. I'm sure everybody has had a story similar to your's, but I honestly don't know how comfortable I would feel blogging about it! Anyways, good to hear how well your run went despite the incident.

    Not too sure about the accuracy of the Nike+, it'll say (during my kick at the end of a run) that I ran sub-6 min pace, yeah right! Oh well, I'll try to recalibrate once I hit the track this weekend.

  39. Hi, nice blog. If you allow me I will follow you frequently. I like the passion your writing. I am also a runner passionate from Spain, Europe. Regards

  40. OK - I now have a real bone to pick with you lindsay. It's 7:30 Monday morning and I'm trying to get caught up with my blog reading. I have an overpriced cup of coffee by my side and am sitting in a nice indie coffee house.

    First of, you have cost me a great deal of money this morning because I now have a drycleaning bill from coffee spit all over my shirt. Not to mention the gulp of coffee that never made it down the trap. On top of that, my reputation is forever sullied by the people that are staring at his weird guy laughing his ass off. Finally, I'm going to be late for work this morning becuase I need to change the pants I just peed in.

    This has *got* to be the single most hilrious blog I've ever had the pleasure of reading! Believe me - I've been there. The mad dash to mile four to hide in the woods and do the hershey squirts. OMG! And the diharrea song - new site to add to my favorites! Hope the effects of the antibiotics are wearing off! I can't stand much more of this. I'm wiping tears from my eyes!

    Oh and Garmin - it's all been said above. Check out SportTracks at to see some *great*analytical software for a Garmin.

  41. I was able to run an extra 2 miles this Saturday while Richie was down in the ditch pooping. He's not on antibiotics - just Chinese food. He's taken to stealing wet wipes from his 4 year old son.

    Maybe it's a curse on those running the NYC marathon. I wonder if Ryan Hall is having similar troubles.

  42. God, I had this happen to me at a marathon in Kansas after drinking an unfamiliar sports drink. Did I mention Kansas, as in wide open fields with virtually no trees? And of course portapotties were like 5 miles apart ...

    You know you're a runner when you can squat in plain view and not care ;-)

  43. thats kinda of crappy (LOL -JK). Good run, despite the "issues"

  44. Okay, I know I'm *way* late to this party but I couldn't help commenting. I'm just amazed at how well you ran in spite of the gi issues. because man, I've been there, and i have not been able to run like that =p

    Also, you described my exact experience with the Nike +. I had an older garmin before switching to the Nike system. I switched back (to a new Garmin this time) after ditching my Nike thing and the difference is incredible.

  45. The most amazing thing is that I just read this post (I am a little behind - blame the house guests!) and did not even as much as bat an eyelash!

    Been there, done that!
    I always say You know you are a runner when you don't think twice about pooping in public!"

  46. Great I'll be singing that song all day! hope everything is feeling better!

  47. PREV is a liquid combination of herbal extracts specifically formulated to shut down your Runner’s Diarrhea before it starts. The smooth mint flavor and thin consistency help PREV to go down easily. Two years of development and testing culminate in this essential product for long-distance runners.



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