Sunday, March 21, 2010

coming to terms

i've been working on talking myself into this for over two weeks now. i promised myself after new york that i would not train for another marathon while in this crazy work/life situation; at the time i thought i was done in kentucky in january, giving me time to train for boston on a more "normal" schedule. i haven't put myself wholeheartedly (or even half) into training for boston, and with the re-flare up of my 'vertigo', i am really starting to believe this is the path i need to take for now.

so - a new approach to boston, which is now less than a month away! gone are the hopes and dreams of a pr, and in it's place - survival. vertigo is no joke and has sprung out of nowhere on me with two hardcore "episodes" where i couldn't even walk (once while sitting at the computer and second while standing in the kitchen making lunch). first, i hope to still actually be able to run boston and toe the start line. second, it'd sure be nice to cross the finish line too! if i am able to run boston, it will simply be for fun and i won't put pressure on myself with any goals. if i become a race-walker, then so be it.

i've re-worked my training plan to fit in better with my actual schedule, although i don't know i would still call it a "training plan". i'm just going to try to run a little each day - whether it's 10/30/60 minutes, and continue to hold the couch down on the days where the world is spinning. i've definitely become guilty of trying to squeeze miles into my week (although mostly just on paper lately) instead of being realistic and doing what works for me/my schedule. i'm sure that added bit of stress hasn't helped.

here's to the boston start line! hopefully i'll be wearing running clothes instead of jeans.
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38 comments :

  1. Sorry to hear it--I'm sure that is not what you had in the plans. But--I also applaud you for being mature about it. I hope you do get to toe the line and try to just enjoy the experience, even without PR chances.

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  2. I'm sorry you're having trouble - it sounds horrific on so many levels. :( But I think you're taking the best approach right now. Hopefully you'll get through it and be able to get the hell out of Kentucky!

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  3. That vertigo is horrible, while I've been lucky to never be affected by it, my Mother-in-law suffers from it and it's horrible for sure. I hope things get under control for you.
    I completely understand the comment of not getting a PR, but just "survival".....god that hits home these days for some reason. I am hoping to find that reason and fix it myself.

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  4. Your health is more important. Toe that line and just have fun; take in the scenery, live it up, take some pics, make it a fun run. You can't keep putting all this stress on yourself when you're not healthy. I'm so proud of you for coming to this decision. It really is the best one for you right now, even if it isn't the one you had hoped it'd be. There will always be another Boston girly and I have no doubt you will be there again someday.

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  5. This is a smart plan. You are an incredible runner, but need time to figure out your health issues. There is nothing more important than that, and it takes maturity to see that. And brains. And confidence. And you have them all. I'll keep my fingers crossed for some good news in terms of a treatment for the vertigo. Once this is all in the past, you are going to have an amazing come back, kind off like Paula Radcliff minus the baby:)

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  6. I hope you can treat Boston like a celebration, and just enjoy the experience. I really hope that everything works out for you healthwise. It certainly sounds scary, but please hang in there.

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  7. I am sorry to hear about your vertigo:( Hang in there! You have to pat yourself on the back because you actually made it to Boston!! There are so many runners who will only dream of that! You go to Boston and enjoy every minute....just take it all in and have a great time:) Enjoy the experience and don't worry about your time! I hope that you enjoy the rest of your weekend:)

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  8. you have a whole life of running so being realistic about what NOW is like is really smart of you. i mean it's hard to say how you will feel/be in a month, but you're doing what you can and you always work hard so i'm sure you'll be fine. safety first :)

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  9. You poor thing. I hope this clears up soon. You deserve Boston!

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  10. I am so sorry to hear about the vertigo! I think you are right and you just will do what you have to do :-) I hope you had a great weekend!

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  11. I'm glad you are recognizing the need to take care of yourself. And I think it would be fun to racewalk Boston anyway... perhaps you'll be able to enjoy the whole experience and course if you end up having to do that than you might if you sped through it on a PR quest. You're young and have lots of chances to really race Boston (and many other races) as long as you take care of yourself. I have to remind myself of that often too!

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  12. I hope you are getting help with the vertigo and there is something that can be done soon. Good luck

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  13. Oh Lindsay, I feel for you . It sounds like you've got a smart plan though to say fit and just take it day by day. My training partner went to the doc for the same problem but she's had it since fall...it was from a left over sinus issue. Now she's on some potassium pills and healing right up. Stay STRONG girl and thanks for being such an example of maturity, intelligence and patience...you are incredible. I hope NOT to see you in jeans next month though.

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  14. Good decision. You just might surprise yourself by approaching it like a fun run. I have no doubt you will finish - You are too strong not to. Enjoy the crowd, give some high-fives, make a memory.

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  15. what a bummer to have dizziness like that, i hope you can find a cure soon...i think you have the right approach towards boston too, just try to enjoy it and get through it, considering the circumstances....

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  16. Well, since you're just running to finish, it's the perfect opportunity to run it dressed like a giant M&M! How could Mars not sponsor you after that? Think about it. The M&M's at your wedding would undoubtedly be free. You could pitch a reality TV show about it all. We'd have to make up some fake drama about Josh getting jealous of the M&M's from time to time, but that's just details...

    I hope you at least figure out what's going on soon so you then have a concrete "enemy" to fight.

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  17. Bravo for you! Nice to see you're being sensible about everything. Sorry about the vertigo though. I volunteered to work at Boston, and was assigned to mile marker 24. Not sure if I will do that or just watch. In any case, I'll be there for you. Isn't that a song?! Get well soon, and thanks for your text and blog comments.

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  18. I am sorry lady! I hope you are able to get to boston!! :( Feel better

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  19. Aw, it's really too bad that things haven't been going well for you. I know this isn't how you nevisioned going to Boston... but you are being smart and realistic. Hopefully you can enjoy the day and get through it, then go back another year to make it you b*tch.

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  20. L,

    i know this is humbling, but this life thing is one long race. I have every confidense that this too shall pass, and you will triumph....

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  21. Sorry to hear that about all this... I've heard of it, and it can't be fun. Take care of you, that's most important. Running will always be there...

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  22. sorry that you aren't feeling well still but good girl for taking the pressure off :) i will definitely be sending you lots of get better vibes so you can get to that start and finish line of boston! very smart to pull back though to make sure you are healthy. that will be a great race to just enjoy and soak it all up anyways, wish i was there this year so we could cruise it together :)

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  23. Sometimes when you treat a race as a celebration as one commenter pointed out...it will be more enjoyable. Instead of trying to keep a certain pace...you can slow down and really enjoy all that you see, hear and smell?

    But...definitely you do have something going on and will have to play your work-outs by ear...that's the best you can do and it's also wise too.

    But I feel bad for you that you have this going on. Hopefully you can get it resolved.

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  24. very wise... I'm pretty sure that as long as you can at least get some long runs in on the weekend you shouldn't have any problems running it for fun...

    Sounds like a good idea anyway. People work so hard to get to Boston; you might as well enjoy it... maybe you should run in a costume :)

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  25. Lindsey, you are a great runner! I'm sorry that this year is not set up for a Boston PR. I sure hope you get the vertigo figured out. I am pulling for you that you will make the starting line!

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  26. I'm sorry you won't have the race you'd dreamed of, but happy to hear you're being so level-headed about the whole thing. Now here's to your head being more level-headed in the weeks to come--and I hope Boston is better, even if it's different, than you had dreamed. I'm praying for many more years of speedy running for you--and many, many more Bostons to come.

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  27. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  28. Vertigo is no joke- I have it chronically. I think you doing what is best for you is the exact right way to handle the situation. You are a very smart girl!

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  29. I'm with you girl!!! I'm sure you'll do just fine... take care of your health! Running boston is running boston, anyway :)

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  30. Oh man, that vertigo sucks. And certainly traveling and living out of a hotel is not making things any easier. I think you've made the right decision to not put any more pressure on yourself. Running races is supposed to be fun and Boston is one of those that you can enjoy without have to PR, as long as you're upright. Let's keep our fingers crossed for that!!

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  31. vertigo is horrible! i am so sorry you are having to deal with that!!! I think your thoughts on Boston are fantastic! I do hope you can start in running clothes!!! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed!!

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  32. I hope that you are able to make it to the start line healthy. You BQ'd at NY again right? If this turns into a fun run for you hopefully you'll have the chance to attack this again next year...not that this may be too much of a consolation for you though.

    Hopefully you'll be back to a normal life and out of Kentucky soon!

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  33. Okay, now I feel bad for not reading this first before I sent my email. My bad.. Sorry to hear the news. I can't stress this enough, but we need to find a way to make this our primary focus in our lives with doctors, running experts and masseuses constantly available. Until that day comes, we will have to rely on the support of other fellow bloggers! :)

    I hope you'll still be able to go to Boston and enjoy yourself!

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  34. Lindsay, you and I are taking the same approach into Boston - we will be fine. We will do our best and that's all we can do for this race right now. It sucks that something took away our training but dangit, we're still going. They'll be other marathons to conquer and I have no doubt you'll knock one right out the door!! We're going to have a blast, no matter what....cuz that's what we do! Hang in there girl! I was out of town and computer-less for a few days and wondered often how you were faring. Glad to hear you're head is accepting of it's mission ahead. :)

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  35. True vertigo seems to be caused by ear problems. Have you seen a doctor?
    With everything going on in your life I wonder if stress may be effecting you. Hopefully you can relax and have fun in Boston and really enjoy the run.

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  36. Linday - you qualified this year, and based on your speed you'll qualify again. Look at this year as your victory lap! Plus I like Brian's idea.....

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  37. Yuck, I have had two clients in the past year suffer with vertigo. So sorry!

    Glad you are taking the right steps and decision on the race. If not this year, then next year in Boston!

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  38. Hey, I'm just now catching up on your blog - I remember you being sick a few weeks ago and as I am reading through things, am hoping it's not been nonstop since your "ab workout."

    I would really still like to meet you and hang out with you (and you're still welcome to stay with me, but I worry about the effect the animals will have on you) but wanted to point out that you can defer the marathon - there is info on the BAA website (remember it last year) - my brother was going to do it and then tried to but did it too late.I think you'd still be good for two of them afterward - I think it's just a matter of sending an explanation or something very simple.

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