Monday, December 31, 2012

2012, maybe?

hot off the presses!

let dj ctk's latest beat carry your dancing running feet into the new year and enjoy this year's "year in review".

[dedicated to b.o.b, as this was her favorite hit of 2012]

now it's the end of the year
somebody get me a beer
i have no reason to cheer
my mileage is so low

i tried elimination
m&m's, my temptation
it was a big frustration
lost all my cardio

your posts were crowin'
long runs, pr's growin'
meanwhile i'm plateauin'
so i tried eating paleo

hey, i don't know you
and this is crazy,
but here's my number,
so track me, maybe?

i ran some 5k's
as an "ali"
and as a diva
brought home a trophy

hey, i went a year,
and it was crazy,
without m&m's,
i survived, maybe?

and all the other boys,
try to chase me,
in my bikini,
some sunscreen, maybe?

i went on meds for my skin
went for a ride on my schwinn
dyed wedding dress in a tin
made my own pizza dough

running may have felt betrayed
when i drank all the kool-aid
i didn't know i'd be swayed
by other cardio

your posts were crowin'
long runs, pr's growin'
meanwhile i'm plateauin'
so i tried eating paleo

hey, now i crossfit
and this is crazy,
i'll double under
please no more burpees

still hard to run fast,
like a grand prix
but i do pullups
in a big tree

here's to the new year,
and lots of running,
a fall marathon
new pr, maybe?

and all my other goals,
i'll chase after,
achieve a muscle up,
and six-pack, maybe?

Sunday, December 30, 2012

blog superlatives 2012

[continuing what i started in 2011 because it's not like i've done any running of note this year. thanks, skin]

most popular (/viewed) post: paging dr. house

class clown: reader request: running in bikin

most likely to lead to my new career at blue sky studios: boom

biggest imposter: ali asname

bestest blog friends (most referrals): angry runner and maurlene on the run (they flip flopped spots from last year). third place goes to sun safety barbie.

most studious countries (most # of readers):
  • united states
  • canada
  • united kingdom
  • spain
  • india

most involved (us states by # of readers):
  • south carolina
  • california
  • virginia
  • new york
  • massachusetts

most likely to succeed (top common searches):
  • chasing the kenyans
  • gu chomps review
  • dr house/dr. house (um?)
  • thanksgiving funnies (how do these result in a success?)

most clueless (randomest search hits):
  • 40's vegetable people
  • how to draw a giraffe
  • belly suck in eat
  • boobs popping buttons
  • long ugly toes
  • my boobs grew
  • my boobs shrank
  • activewear for older women
  • alligator eating cereal
  • can people see in between the gaps of the bathroom stalls
  • men who need sports bra
  • m&m a good pre workout snack (duh)
  • sports bras that work your arms as you run
  • how to pop a squat on the side of the road
  • fat girl trying to eat cookie off shoulder

(did i really talk about boobs that much in 2012?)